This is an example of someone that will never work for TattooFinder.com, as much as he really wants to. :)

My Dearest Sir,

I am writing to broach of the topic to which you intended me to read. I have read your posting and believe that I am the man for your job. You see, I am unemployed and have been so for quite some time. Therefore, my needs fit your needs. Please look below for and at my qualifications:

Looking for a sweet job? Can you handle working with ultimate nerds/tattoo enthusiasts? Look no further! Check out the TattooFinder.com Employment page for a list of current positions we are hiring for! Where else can you sharpen your board game skills underneath a disco ball?